I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
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Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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