Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize