end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize