but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize