he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
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I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
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I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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