We named our party play list daddy issues
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize