finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize