Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
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I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
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So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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