So drunk its hurt
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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