so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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