Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize