I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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