did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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