i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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