I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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