I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize