WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
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white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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