i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize