i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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