i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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