Its about making memories worth repressing
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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