it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
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They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
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also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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