just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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