Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
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No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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