you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize