I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I licked your asshole in confidence.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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