you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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