It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my poor anus
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize