Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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