Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
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doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
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I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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