found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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