I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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