he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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