Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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