When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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