i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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