do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
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My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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