But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize