You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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