I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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