He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up under a house in Key West
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize