So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
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I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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