i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize