Pappa wants mamma naked
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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