the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize