is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
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You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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