I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
50% drunk capacity currently
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize