uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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