I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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