I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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